I don't know how many of you guys ever had more experienced, 'wiser' adults tell you to avoid spending a lot of money on girls, but I got told this a lot, especially throughout high school. From my experience that seems to be one of the most common pieces of relationship advice I've received. The logic behind this is that most likely you will not end up marrying this person, and not much will come out of it. After thinking this through probably a little too much, I decided that this idea is bad. Kind of.
Story time. Once upon a time, this guy was very infatuated with a girl. Both were in high school. Logically speaking, and from an outsider's perspective, this "relationship" was doomed from the start. Unfortunately being "in love" isn't very logical. These two lovebirds did their thing, including dismissing much of the advice given to them by others who were more experienced, choosing to make mistakes and learn lessons on their own. The guy had been given the classic "don't spend your money on another man's wife" advice, but to a degree, he chose to ignore it. He had dumb friends, and one of them had recently spent $300 on his girlfriend for Valentine's Day when all she wanted was to watch a movie and have a picnic. Learning from his friends' mistake, he thought things through, but he still spent more money on this girl than was advised. Sure enough the day came when things didn't go ideally, and the two parted ways. Now a carefree bachelor once more, he thought about what had happened, what he could learn, what he regretted, etc. Fortunately he realized spending money on this girl was not a regret. Except for that adorable stuffed giraffe. Courtney if you're reading this, I want it back.
As you probably figured out, this guy was me. Thinking about all the money I spent on that girl I realized that if I would have saved it all, I would have accrued a considerable amount. Or I would have spent most of it on fast food or something. The point is, they say to not spend money "on another man's wife" because most likely your high school relationships wont go too far. If yours did, I salute you, but the majority of us... Thinking about all the green Jackson's I spent on this girl I wondered if I had wasted my money. I came to the conclusion that no, I did not, and here is why.
Much like the higher education system, you pay for something, but you don't really get anything specific back. You get a little piece of paper that symbolizes your achievements, but if you think about it, you don't really get anything back. If I go to McDonald's, or a gas station, you pay for something tangible. You get to decide what to do with your cheeseburger or gallon of gas, but either way it's yours. You bought it, you can touch it, see it, smell it, etc. Experience doesn't work like that. When you pay for college, you get a piece of paper that helps you make more money, but that is if you're doing it wrong. College is supposed to be about the journey to the diploma, you're supposed to be learning things that will help you be a more educated and useful member of society. But no one hands you a bucket labeled "Knowledge". The things you hypothetically learned aren't tangible, but they are still there. This post is getting kind of long. What I'm trying to say is that as long as you don't go overboard, when you spend money on a relationship that doesn't go anywhere, it's not wasted. Hopefully you learned a thing or two, and hopefully you will be able to use that in the future. Also hopefully the other person remembers that. In this society it's rather hard to leave a relationship and have the other person not think you're a total monster. Last but not least, if you made the other person happy, even for a moment, you wasted nothing. "The best portion of a good man's life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love" -William Wordsworth
